Self-Care, Self-Love and Divorce

Self-care and learning to love yourself during or after divorce can be difficult for most women.  This is a time when we may have very critical feelings of low self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence.

Divorce is an ending to your marriage not the end of your life. It is a journey into a world of self-discovery and unlimited possibilities.  The chance to deliberately create a whole new life based on your terms. Find how self-love and divorce can be a part of your new beginning.

Before you can begin to rebuild your new life you must first learn to love yourself again. Give yourself time to rebuild the relationship with yourself. This is the person you used to be before your marriage. Who where you as teenager or young adult? What were your hopes, dreams and desires?  You may have lost your self-identity in your marriage, career and life. Who are you now?  What do you want?  What makes your heart sing?

1. Purchase a journal and write your feelings out on paper.  Let the words flow from your heart and don’t over think it.  Journaling is a great way to get in touch with your emotions and unblock your feelings. You can also use your imagination and envision your new life and future. This can help open up your mind to new ideas and opportunities you may have never considered before. Your subconscious mind does not know the difference if things are real or not. It believes whatever you tell it. So dream BIG! This can help you begin to manifest your desires and your dreams. So have fun with it!
2. Your self-care and your self-health are your number one priority. You must eat well and get adequate rest and nutrition. Otherwise how can you show up as your best self to deal with the business of divorce and get the best results for your future?
3. Take relaxation time and pampering time for yourself.  Massage, manicure, pedicure, facial and spa treatments. Get a new hairstyle or color. If you can’t afford these take a long hot bubble bath with scented candles, soft music and your favorite beverage. Go to the pool, lake, beach and take a good book with you. Whatever you need to do to spoil and pamper yourself do it!  You have been through lot and you need to replenish and rejuvenate.
4. Pay attention to your thoughts, feelings and the words you are speaking. If you catch yourself speaking negatively stop and ask yourself is that really true? Am I over reacting? Imagine placing the negative thought in a balloon in front of you and watching it float away into the sky until you can no longer see it. Now try to replace the negative thought with a better feeling thought or focus on something more positive. Self-love and divorce are tricky but by changing your thoughts, more self-love is possible.
5. Make a list of positive affirmations that you love and keep them by your bedside say them out loud first thing every morning and last thing at night before bed. (Saying them with feeling and meaning.)  If you do a google search you will find thousands of affirmations to use. Choose your favorites or create your own.
6.  Start a separate gratitude journal or use your journal to list at least ten things every day that you have to be grateful and thankful for. Try to list more if possible and add new things daily.
7. Most of all, remember you are always right where you need to be on this journey called life. You are beautiful, whole, complete, accepted and loved just like you are.

Written by Leslie Welch, CDC, LOA, REIKI III